metal gear i feel asleep This is a topic that many people are looking for. stokely-carmichael.com is a channel providing useful information about learning, life, digital marketing and online courses …. it will help you have an overview and solid multi-faceted knowledge . Today, stokely-carmichael.com would like to introduce to you Metal Gear (NES) – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) – YouTube. Following along are instructions in the video below:
“Theme rock instrumental version by dorman t reign plays nerd this game is fucking. Horrible horrible sbam it s fucking horrible just thinking about it makes me feel like having anal evacuation cowa fuckin piece of dog shit you bunny fucking bitch. I m coming over and i m gonna kill you bugs fucking bunny punches bugs bunny in the guts and in the face. And this was it this was your whole weekend.
This one game didn t have anything else to do if they move kill em yeah shoot him shoot him that s what you do kill everybody on the screen. Don t let anybody live that s what games were all about you see somebody you pump their motherfucking ass full of lead. But then came along a game on the japanese home computer. The msx2.
It was called metal gear. And it was a fresh new idea it was about survival rather than blunt force instead of running up. And killing everybody. It was all about getting by undetected.
It was an epic revolutionary idea and it paved the way for the stealth genre snake would become one of the classic video game characters and of course it was one of the most popular names of the 80 s next to michael. I always think of snake from escape from new york or the wrestler jake the. Snake and. His.
Full name is solid snake might as well just be erect cock there. Were so many sequels it. Gets confusing maybe even chronologically confusing . There was metal gear 2.
Solid snake metal gear solid and metal gear solid. 2. Could they have come up with the title that sounded different like which one s the real 2. Well if you want to get technical.
The first sequel was snake s revenge. But that was only a sequel to the nes version the original games developer. Hideo kojima wasn t involved in either of the nes versions. So metal gear 2 solid snake was the first true sequel.
But again it was on the msx. 2. So unless you lived in japan. Chances.
Are you weren t aware of it at the time metal gear solid was basically the third in the series. But it was the first one most people played because it was on the playstation. It was also the first one to utilize 3 d environments first person views and cinematic elements. Today.
There s so many metal gear solid sequels. And so many versions of each game. It s out of control. The point is today metal gear is a franchise.
But forget about all that just for one moment pretend that it s 1988 and we don t live in japan to our knowledge. The only game is metal gear on the nes. I remember renting it from the video store and thinking wow that looks pretty cool. But there was something about the cover that was really familiar which i never realized til now.
It s kyle reese from the terminator. Yeah. Without a doubt. It also has the fastest title screen in video game history.
Watch how long it stays then it goes to the demo seriously. It s only up there for 2 seconds. I ll time it there you go 2 seconds. It s like the game s saying.
Oh well you re not gonna push start well fuck. You then so you drop from a parachute and who the hell are these other 3 guys. I don t even know if you ever see them again then you get a briefing from your boss it. Says first attempt to contact missing our.
Grey fox great there s a typo on the first message. So then you walk over and you could just go up and fight this guy or wait for him to fall asleep or feel asleep. I guess if he feels asleep. That s good enough.
But even then when you go near him. He just wakes up so what s the difference then there s all these dogs your first instinct is to sneak by but look at this i can t fucking go through what s what s blocking me. If you really weren t intended to fit through couldn t they have put these jeeps closer to the grass you can only move along a grid. So basically you can t go near anything bad game design at its finest.
So i punch out all these dogs and then i just go to the next screen just keep walking down walking down. Oh fuck. What was the point of that you know what the point was to waste my fucking time now the dogs are back of course. It s the classic respawning enemy bullshit so i gotta punch the fucking dogs again you know who the hell goes around punching dogs alright come on you mother bitch come on damn it alright now i m gonna get in this truck here wow this truck s the size of a fucking house.
And it doesn t make any sense. You stay the same size. So. How does the truck get bigger oh well whatever what s this binoculars alright gonna go back out here the fuck that was ridiculous the enemies respawn if you go in the truck.
It s not like i left the screen. It was just a sub area and once you re out of the truck you re immediately open to enemy fire. That is so fucking cheap you wanna play dirty alright. You fucking goddamn piece of shit.
The one thing. That s cool. I still have my binoculars so i don t gotta go in that truck again just gonna punch this motherfucker die asshole. Go to the select screen here choose the binoculars ok so let s try them out alright.
I m using the d pad. Looks like i m scanning the environment just a little handy way to see what lies ahead. I suppose now i m going back to the select screen to turn it off ok. What you son of a bitch.
The enemies respawn if you use the binoculars. You can t do anything was this a glitch or were the game designers deliberately trying to be fucking assholes seriously. And this whole jungle scene wasn t even in the original version like hmm. Let s see what kind of stupid shit can we add let s take a great game.
And just dump an assload of diarrhea on it now where the fuck. Am. I it s the same screen being repeated is it like in zelda where you have to go northwest southwest. But no you just go down.
Whenever you go left or right. It just takes you back to the same spot. Then let me ask a perfectly legit question. What were they thinking why not just have one path thanks for tricking me into thinking i m going somewhere when i m really not alright you bastard com.
Fuck. Oh my god i gotta go back to the beginning every time are there any checkpoints am. I ever going to get to continue and where s my fucking gun is that all i get just. My fists.
Oh. I have a pack of cigarettes. Too. Wow.
Hey. Kids smoke up the menu sucks check. It out. This is how it works select brings up the main menu now select does nothing b.
Goes back to the game. And a chooses a sub menu now select goes back to the game and b. Now does nothing. And a chooses the items.
It s so inconsistent until you get used to it it takes too fucking long to navigate. I m not trying to find flaws with this game. This is honestly how i felt the first time playing this 20 years ago. I hated it i wanted to know two things when do i get a gun when do i get to continue.
I kept dying over and over again and seeing that first screen. So many times left a permanent mental image in my brain for the rest of my life. But once you learn how to get by you go into the first building and soon enough you get the gun once that happens the game gets a lot easier. But still every time you die you go back to the fucking beginning.
But like i said you get to keep your weapons. So once you have the gun you re all set and some of the trucks drive you around kind of like a warp zone. But you have no control over it you just step into a random truck and off you go. Uh.
Oh. The truck have started to move man these translations suck couldn t they get anyone to proofread this shitload of fuck anyway each time. I play it i seem to get one step further. But there s always going to be something unexpected like that right there how was i supposed to know there d be a trapdoor.
It s all about trial and error and just because of that i gonna start all over. I ve heard that if you use the transceiver. It makes the trap door go away. Which it does but you still die.
What the fuck anyway you go around collecting items key cards and rescuing hostages. But if you want a chance to read any of the dialogue boxes you better be careful not to touch the d pad. Yeah. You know how in most games you can cancel out the text by pressing a or b or sometimes start.
But never the fucking d pad naturally when you re getting an item you re using the d pad cause you re walking toward it. So you have to remember to let go right away. That is some mixed up buffalo bullshit right there and sometimes the dialogue box can actually get blocked. They can t keep the objects in the game from getting in front of the text or maybe.
It s to hide their inability to proofread. I have located some plastic explosive this game s a mess. How did they fuck it up so bad. There s so many spots where you just walk into a room and drop dead like here.
I have to switch on my gas mask of course. If i don t realize that i only have 1 second to react before my health s drained. All the way and then the fucking boss calls to say i forgot to i mean i forget to tell you something you will need your gas mask. Oh.
No shit you re a little fucking late there asshole. You think you could tell me before i step into the room not after i mean if i survived long enough to get his message. I would have already figured that out but you wanna know what else sucks about this room to get in you need to have your key card selected. Then right away you need to select your gas mask.
So unavoidably you lose some health and then once again to get out of the room. You have to select your key card. So twice you take damage and as far as i know there s no way to avoid it probably my favorite fucked up part is right here. See this truck.
It s too close to the edge of the screen. So if you want to go in there you have to leave the screen twice you go right go up and go left what game would ever make you do that. And so annoying. When people gang up on you oh my god get off me get off.
I can t get them off fuck. But anyway. It s a pretty epic game so most likely you won t beat it in one sitting. That s why there s a password system.
But like you d expect. It s horrendous is there any reason. Why these passwords have to be so fucking long. Even this would be overdoing.
It why do we need this little extra part like for the love of fuck. Well. Then guess what if you use the password. It starts you at the building.
Where you left off. Why couldn t that happen just by continuing the whole purpose of having a password is if you turn the game off and want to come back to it later not just to continue imagine every time you die typing in this password. It s either that or start. At the beginning.
So. Pick your fucking poison motherfucker this game is the fucking crust between your balls. It s terrible and yeah. I know it s a classic game.
But when something s fucked up it s fucked up so if you want to rip me. A new asshole that s fine. I have like 12 yeah i ve got charlie brown ghost ass and it s not just me hideo kojima himself said it slurped anal grease from a warthog s dickhole. Well.
He didn t say it like that he said. It wasn t faithful to his original game. The stealth element wasn t there and metal gear wasn t even in the game. Yeah.
That s right the final boss is supposed to be a robot named metal gear. So if you re going to call the game metal gear and not have metal gear. That s like having legend of zelda with no zelda. If the original metal gear was kojima s baby then the nes version is his deformed grandchild now i know it s still a classic if you look past all its flaws.
It s like digging for gold under a pile of horseshit or perhaps. It s a gleaming silver turd it might not look like shit. But it sure smells like it ” ..
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The Nerd brings out his codec and stealth gear, as he tries to navigate his way around Metal Gear for the NES, while also discussing the game s sequels in Chronologically Confused About Metal Gear Sequels.
This is Angry Videogame Nerd episode 67
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